Miracles do happen….
Jan 26, 2018 was the day they fertilized the 3 eggs to test them with my husband's newest sample.
By Sat, the 27, while attending the district UIL competition, I received word we had 1 out of 3 fertilize.
By Monday, we still had 1, but it did not seem to be growing very much, and the prognosis wasn't very
good. A few days later we were told none made it. Cue the ugly crying....
By Sat, the 27, while attending the district UIL competition, I received word we had 1 out of 3 fertilize.
By Monday, we still had 1, but it did not seem to be growing very much, and the prognosis wasn't very
good. A few days later we were told none made it. Cue the ugly crying....
At first we didn't want to talk about it or think about it. When the conversations started again,
it went to adoption- adoption through DFPS. We mainly thought of this route because it was FREE.
At this point in time, we were $70,000 deep. (Some may think it's tacky to post that...but it is what it is....
that is a HUGE part of it.) We had moved into our dream home, and in order to be reasonable and not
struggle all the time, we decided to sell. THAT was difficult. We didn't need all the room at the time, and
we did not need the ridiculous monthly payment- money was needed elsewhere. Moving was difficult for
various reasons. Not because we were leaving a gorgeous house behind, although I know people have
talked and speculated about how we "couldn't hack it" or "couldn't keep up," but because we were leaving
a great group of neighbors and friends and leaving a house that was supposed to be our forever home.
We chose less stress over living above our current means. The "baby debt" just added to what we had
as normal debt. We moved into an apartment in April 2018, and throughout the summer went back and
forth over what our next steps would be. We even got a 3 bedroom apartment so we could show that we
had room for a baby.
it went to adoption- adoption through DFPS. We mainly thought of this route because it was FREE.
At this point in time, we were $70,000 deep. (Some may think it's tacky to post that...but it is what it is....
that is a HUGE part of it.) We had moved into our dream home, and in order to be reasonable and not
struggle all the time, we decided to sell. THAT was difficult. We didn't need all the room at the time, and
we did not need the ridiculous monthly payment- money was needed elsewhere. Moving was difficult for
various reasons. Not because we were leaving a gorgeous house behind, although I know people have
talked and speculated about how we "couldn't hack it" or "couldn't keep up," but because we were leaving
a great group of neighbors and friends and leaving a house that was supposed to be our forever home.
We chose less stress over living above our current means. The "baby debt" just added to what we had
as normal debt. We moved into an apartment in April 2018, and throughout the summer went back and
forth over what our next steps would be. We even got a 3 bedroom apartment so we could show that we
had room for a baby.
Let me stop and say that my husband has been a DREAM throughout this whole process (as long as
filling out paperwork is not involved- LOL), and he supports me no matter what. I was the one going back
and forth about adopting for so many reasons: are we too old, is this really supposed to happen, are we
pushing it too far, what if we have to give the baby back while fostering to adopt....to name a few. I feel
guilty, so often, for putting him through this, all because I want a baby. That is when he, lovingly, reminds
me that WE want a baby, and we will do what we can to make that happen. Anyway, we finally decided
to go forward and complete paperwork and trainings online. Periodically, throughout the summer I would
work on paperwork, gathering the proper documentation, etc. This seemed to trudge on forever. I did it
half-heartedly, wanting a baby so desperately, but being SOOOOOO TIRED of jumping through hoops
to have this happen. The fact that so many people have babies they don’t want, and don’t take care of,
exacerbated the problem. I know paperwork seems like it is not a big deal, but after a gazillion forms for
so many procedures, medicines, travel arrangements, legal issues, counselling, etc, I am TIRED.
filling out paperwork is not involved- LOL), and he supports me no matter what. I was the one going back
and forth about adopting for so many reasons: are we too old, is this really supposed to happen, are we
pushing it too far, what if we have to give the baby back while fostering to adopt....to name a few. I feel
guilty, so often, for putting him through this, all because I want a baby. That is when he, lovingly, reminds
me that WE want a baby, and we will do what we can to make that happen. Anyway, we finally decided
to go forward and complete paperwork and trainings online. Periodically, throughout the summer I would
work on paperwork, gathering the proper documentation, etc. This seemed to trudge on forever. I did it
half-heartedly, wanting a baby so desperately, but being SOOOOOO TIRED of jumping through hoops
to have this happen. The fact that so many people have babies they don’t want, and don’t take care of,
exacerbated the problem. I know paperwork seems like it is not a big deal, but after a gazillion forms for
so many procedures, medicines, travel arrangements, legal issues, counselling, etc, I am TIRED.
Fast forward to the first week of October. My sister-in-law sends me a text asking where we were in the
adoption process, and I told her paperwork. A few days later she asks if my uterus is “still open for
business.” (I still laugh when I think about that question.) As I texted her and told her yes, she said she
had a lady who wanted to donate embryo to me. I can not tell you how many times I have literally sat
and thought, “I wish someone would just GIVE me some embryo,” KNOWING this would not really
happen. Well, IT DID! I talked to the donor one Friday, when she called and said, “Brandi, I have good
news for you. I called my fertility office, and I have 13 embryo you can have.”
Cue the ugly crying….but for happy reasons this time. Currently, as I type this, we have had required
counselling as a couple, the donors have had it as a couple, and we have had it together to discuss
expectations for after the baby would be born. I had a sonohysterogram to ensure my uterus is still in
good shape (GREAT NEWS- she’s fine...lol), and we are awaiting a blood test for the donor couple and
legal paperwork to legally transfer them to us, as well as financing. Once the embryo are transferred
to our clinic, I will start meds to accept the embryo and we implant one.
adoption process, and I told her paperwork. A few days later she asks if my uterus is “still open for
business.” (I still laugh when I think about that question.) As I texted her and told her yes, she said she
had a lady who wanted to donate embryo to me. I can not tell you how many times I have literally sat
and thought, “I wish someone would just GIVE me some embryo,” KNOWING this would not really
happen. Well, IT DID! I talked to the donor one Friday, when she called and said, “Brandi, I have good
news for you. I called my fertility office, and I have 13 embryo you can have.”
Cue the ugly crying….but for happy reasons this time. Currently, as I type this, we have had required
counselling as a couple, the donors have had it as a couple, and we have had it together to discuss
expectations for after the baby would be born. I had a sonohysterogram to ensure my uterus is still in
good shape (GREAT NEWS- she’s fine...lol), and we are awaiting a blood test for the donor couple and
legal paperwork to legally transfer them to us, as well as financing. Once the embryo are transferred
to our clinic, I will start meds to accept the embryo and we implant one.
I am going to take this time to answer questions you may be wondering, because these are what are
usually asked…(If you have others, and want to ask, I don’t mind.)
usually asked…(If you have others, and want to ask, I don’t mind.)
*Receiving embryos means they are already fertilized by the donor couple.
*I am able to carry a baby, according to tests that have been done; I am just not able to use my eggs
(and apparently my husband’s sperm).
(and apparently my husband’s sperm).
*We will only implant one embryo at a time. Previously, more than one was implanted in women
because they did not know which ones would work and which ones wouldn’t. I was told they are trying
to make it the standard to only implant one, so that the embryo do not fight over resources and your
body can focus on one. Plus, we are doing genetic testing, so we will know which ones will not support
chromosomally.
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